You get on my last nerve,” Susan yelled back at Michael, “And I promise you make me sick.”
With half a smile on her face she had slipped in a little more verbal venom just before he drove off. In the very back of her mind she remembered hearing something on Sunday about kindness, but in that moment she dismissed it because her mouth was swollen with the right to be angry. And
what’s the big deal,” she thought minutes later. “He made he mad. And he knows how I get when I’m mad.”
Walking back into the house she lets her Hulk like thoughts rage on a little while longer. For a few seconds, however, guilt tugs at her mind so she yells to an empty room,
I’ll call him to apologize when I get good and ready.”
Hours pass and she finally dials his number willing to forgive and be forgiven for making a small moment bigger than it ever had to be. I mean, it was the way they fought. They were used to it. So, what’s the big deal?
What is your past doing to your relationship?
When you’re broken, then it’s easy to say things that break others. Your pain organically sneaks into every moment looking to infect conversations and all kinds of relationships with it’s funky attitudes.
Old pain will make you crazy or make you look crazier than you are.
But back to the story
What if Susan doesn’t get another chance to erase the ugliness with her smile?
What if she doesn’t get the opportunity to replace that moment with her special way of holding his hands and touching his face?
What if she doesn’t have time to exchange those phrases for something kinder and more gentle?
Don’t let old pain get the best of you
Old pain is a killer. It destroys dreams, families and all types of relationships. It makes it hard for you to be grateful and difficult for you to say simple things like “thank you.”
But you don’t have to be trapped by your yesterdays.
One of the natural weapons God gave us is the ability to demonstrate gratitude.
Toni Powell has an interesting take on this subject in her Ted Talk, A Love Story. By sharing her own story she highlights the idea that you can heal a person with kindness because
“It’s hard to fight with that. It’s hard to argue with grace.” She says “gratitude rewires the brain to see and process the world differently.”
And how's this for different?
thankful people are happier people,”
according to Darcy Jacobsen in The Power of Workplace Gratitude: A Brief Bibliography. They are also more productive in the workplace, sleep better and more resilient when it comes to dealing with traumatic life experiences. And I’m into whatever it takes to survive – and survive in style, so sign me up for gratitude.
In fact, we can begin demonstrating more gratitude with a few heartfelt thank yous.
Thank you is a power phrase
It’s a beautiful sentence with transformative powers if we’ll pay attention to when and how we use it.
Here’s a simple start: Be grateful for today’s breathe and the ability to dream. And pause a minute to thank the people who help you survive your nightmares and pursue your passions.
Talk soon,
— Jamillah Warner, aka Lady J —
P.S. For more on this topic check out the Social Triggers video with Derek Halpern, Not Happy With Your Business Results? Here’s A Tip: Say Thank You. And 10 Best Ted Talks on Building Workplace Gratitude by Rick Kiley.
P.P.S. If you enjoyed it, then be sure to share it and let me know what you think by leaving a comment below. And remember, the Hot Prayers Family, you can become a part of it. Check out all of that below.
