She had one of those days, where everything and everyone tested her last nerve. So she just drove until she ended up here…
poetry and prayer for strength and courage
she’d been here before
Like the Israelites on a desert journey, she'd been here before. Her head was filled with sand. Grains everywhere.
So, she couldn't see past her fears. Couldn't reach beyond her yesterdays. Hadn't trained her mind to outpace old pain. And so, she walked in circles, and wasted time. She just kept landing in all the same places over and over again.
- rage ~she'd been there.
- worry ~ she'd been there.
- fear ~ she built a home there.
The more she walked, the less she saw. She was trapped in a cycle, so thick and strong that it didn't matter where her feet took her. As long as her mind was trapped she just kept landing inside the same old problems:
Not good enough. Not strong enough. Not pretty enough. Not smart enough.
The same old lies.
but now she longed for strength and courage
There came a day when she got tired. Tired of feeling the same old way. Tired of fighting all the wrong wars. Tired of being afraid. Tired of lying to herself. Tired of hiding pain.
It was like being hungry for the first time. Except she wasn't a child. And screaming wasn't going to make anybody solve her real problems.
She had to get up and get her own food.
She jumped in the car and started to cry. As if on cue the earth joined her and the rain flooded her windshield. But she kept on driving.
Her life had changed so much that Sunday was just another day. So when she landed at hip hop church, she was shocked the car remembered the way.
I mean she wasn't trying to go to church, not today. She was just trying to get away from all the fear. And she longed…
She longed for what she used to have ~ for strength and courage…and love.
This is where Straye's mind was before she arrived at hip hop church. Watch the video to see what happened next….