The challenge: to still expect that never give up kind of love in-spite of broken hearts…video below
I remember, shortly after my divorce, love and laughter were everywhere. And I remember how I just wanted to run. Cause it’s not like others cried because I cried or fell out of love because I had fallen out of mine (or maybe I was pushed out). The point is life goes on. Even when stuff happens to make you feel like you are out of step with time and everyone around you. Life. goes. on.
And I Learned To Go On Too
But funny thing is — in private it was the love songs that gave me hope. Not all of them, but I do remember Kem’s music feeling like that last chance for me to dream. At that time I couldn’t see past my own aches. And I tried to, but my vision was blurry. Might have been the tears. Might have been the flashbacks.
Regardless, I was used to dreaming years into my future. But back then I couldn’t see pass the moment I was in. Just enough vision to survive the day.
But real love…
It was something I couldn’t escape. I have always been surrounded by couples.
So by accident — at least in my mind — I started collecting the love stories. I mean, I Iistened to the horrors. And it made me feel less crazy because bad things do happen — the twilight zone sometimes becomes real life. But I collected the love stories to save my future love life and current broken heart.
My favorites are the couples that stand the test of time — surviving with that never-give-up kind of love. The old loves with the fresh fire still burning strong. I am attracted to how love finds a match — to how they stack hope over pain, to how their connection survives another day.
When I heard about how my parents (41 years of marriage so far) first met, I was intrigued how two young African Americans managed to bump into each other in the middle of a revolution. It was the 70’s. They were in their 20s and wanted a bigger life than the ones they came from. She was pursuing her version of it. He was pursuing his. She, from North Carolina. He, from Georgia. They met in Virginia.
Imaging the world around them
I try to see what she had on when she walked in for that job interview in downtown Richmond, VA during a time when the Vietnam War was still happening. A point in our history when blacks where defiant just for wanting to be treated equally.
I tried to imagine how he looked at that desk — a young, black man building his sales crew. What he must have thought underneath that professional demeanor. To be young. To have dreams in a world that fights against you just because of your skin. And still make your own success. And bump into your future in the middle of it.
I know love stories. And the real life ones, like my parents, have a lot of grit in them, a lot of hell and high waters to overcome. Cause it takes some real wisdom and strength to recognize and love the right person at the right time for the long haul.
Here’s my interpretation of that moment.
Never give up or the real thing
Just make sure you’re bringing the real thing to the dating table. The version on you that’s working on something more. The version of you that’s learning how to forgive cause it looks like every lasting relationship needs that.
Lady J @ HotPrayers.com
SHOUTOUTS: The film is an excerpt from the Hot Prayers Launch Party (amazing night). Thanks to the Videographer, Keesha Hooks with KVP Images; and the Choreographers/Dancers: Kenya Boston & Quintavious James. More shoutouts to come